The final year of my undergraduate career has begun, and too much has changed over the past several months for me to believe that this place is still a home for me. That sense has passed away with the passing of my mentor, collaborator, and dear friend. Entering into a space, once co-inhabited with him leads to a vast emptiness, but as he always ended his emails regardless of the information contained within, "On we go."
My senior year means numerous preparations for me. Grad school applications, thinking of back-up plans, a possible mutiny, thoughts towards a better future, et cetera et cetera. I have come to the realization that my future lies inside the insane world of the theatre, predominately as a writer, but the probability of acting is equally as high. I went back and took a look at the first play I ever wrote recently and realized how much I have grown; as a writer, as a person, and as a creator.
That first play tells of a group of people mourning the loss of a friend, and the mystery of the death of the Loch Ness Monster. It stems from four dudes, locked in a room for 24 hours, and pushed to the brink of insanity.
Since then, I have learned that I want to be a playwright and/or a librettist. I will be visiting some potential graduate schools this fall, and, of course, am incredibly excited, anxious, and scared all at once. I have learned a lot about the creation of stories and more particularly plays.
In the words of Joss Whedon, "Just finish it." There's always time to edit after you're done with it, but if not everything is finished, then how do you know how to edit anything to get to culmination of the play, because, after all, the ending is the most important part of the entire story. Without an ending, there is no story. There are simply some menial moments. These moments need to mean something and lead to something.
People change. They should change in your story. If your main character is not dynamic, then your play better end in a lot of tragedy and travesty and frustration. Stories need some sort of journey, whether literal (There and Back Again) or metaphysical (any internal struggle ever).
And most importantly, read. Read things - all things. Literacy is a gift. Understanding and meaning-making are an even greater gift. If you think something sucks, try to understand why it sucks to you. Be disgusted by things. If you aren't disgusted by somethings, then you aren't human. If you need something disgusting to look into, think about something that angers you. Think about how much people are not doing to remedy this situation. What you are feeling now is something pretty close to disgust. Go pick up something by someone that wrote during the grotesque period (i.e. Tennessee Williams or anything that has to do with a carney). Try and understand why they chose these protagonists. Research the meaning of words. I would suggest starting with the word "agony" and its Latin roots.
Question everything and everyone. Learn to love learning. The world we are currently inhabiting needs more people that are knowledgeable and wise. Philosophize. Communicate. Argue. And of course, read. You won't regret it. Trust me. Ask your teachers, they are paid (usually) to know these things.
